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Financial Crisis
1) I went to the ATM this morning and it said "insufficient funds"..
I'm wondering is it them or me?
2) With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
Start off with a large one.
3) What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A large pizza can still feed a family of four.
4) George Bush was asked today "what did he think of the Credit Crunch?"
He replied: "It was his favourite Candy Bar."
5) What's the capital of Iceland?
About $3.50
6) Why have estate agents stopped looking out the window in the morning?
Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon
7) Record unemployment levels have been announced today as the Credit Crunch tightens it’s grip.
Worst hit sectors are the construction trade and Icelandic bank robbers
8) Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker’s wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!”
9) What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons?
The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s.
10) What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common?
They both have frozen assets.
11) Quote of the day (from a trader): “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve
lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”
12) Uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last seven days, Origami bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was also announced that Karaoke Bank will go up for sale and will likely go for a song, while shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended today after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
I'm wondering is it them or me?
2) With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
Start off with a large one.
3) What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A large pizza can still feed a family of four.
4) George Bush was asked today "what did he think of the Credit Crunch?"
He replied: "It was his favourite Candy Bar."
5) What's the capital of Iceland?
About $3.50
6) Why have estate agents stopped looking out the window in the morning?
Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon
7) Record unemployment levels have been announced today as the Credit Crunch tightens it’s grip.
Worst hit sectors are the construction trade and Icelandic bank robbers
8) Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker’s wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!”
9) What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons?
The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s.
10) What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common?
They both have frozen assets.
11) Quote of the day (from a trader): “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve
lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”
12) Uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last seven days, Origami bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was also announced that Karaoke Bank will go up for sale and will likely go for a song, while shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended today after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
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